"it" just moved
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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