He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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