The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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