Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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