Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
