So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
