I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
