I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
