just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
