tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
