Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
