Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
