He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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