Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
