Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
