I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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