Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
