Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry OTRA hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

I am midnight drunk by noon

Fav 7 4770 885
share tweet
(856): View more from New Jersey

just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.

Fav 28 8319 1135
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

cat food counts as protein by the way

Fav 13 2099 4672
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.

Fav 15 8576 1602
share tweet
(224): View more from Illinois

It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.

Fav 6 2065 1079
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child

Fav 4 3178 1021
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?

Fav 3 2074 787
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?

Fav 6 598 988
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.

Fav 1 93 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT