My balls are so social today.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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