I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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