You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
