She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
