feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
