i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
