it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
