There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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