I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
