Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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