it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
