youre lurking in front of me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
