ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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