just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
