I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
