we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
now i know why i became what i already was.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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