I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
