No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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