How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
