im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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