im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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