All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
