He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
