I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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