And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
