i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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