I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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