she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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