just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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