I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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