I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
