Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
