sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
