so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
