i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
