Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
